Public Schools

The Harsh Reality of Getting To and Paying For College

Leave a Comment / College Prep, Consulting, High Schools, Parenting, Personal experience, Public Schools, Teaching /

Unlike many teachers, a high school band director can have a student for four years or more. Sometimes, the high school director is also the middle school teacher, so those students can have the same teacher for seven years. They come to the high school as curious freshmen and develop exciting dreams. Sophomores are excited about the colleges they will attend and what they will do. They want to go to the higher level, name brand universities for law school, med school, music school. 

But then, sometime during Junior year, it seems, the realities of less than stellar grades and parents balking at the published prices of the dream schools begin to crush and shatter that earlier enthusiasm and optimism. 

A quote I hear too often, and the main motivation for writing this book, goes something like:

“I really wanted to go to [Name Brand] University, but I’m going to have to go to [Community] College and commute from home – because it is what we can afford.”

What Crushes Their Dreams?

They are not stupid, but might be ignorant 

When Middle School 8th graders become high school freshmen, they can have a glazed-eye look about them. They are coming from a smaller setting where they had pods and teams of teachers who spent significant time helping them not only get through the educational process, but also to smooth their often traumatic entrance into the teen years. Suddenly, they get to the high school where the building is bigger (easier to get lost), there are more people, more classes, they have more teachers who have less time to hold their hands and who will hold them to a higher level of accountability. They’ve been the big-dogs on the middle school campus and now are at the bottom of the high school heap. The good news is that most successfully navigate the transition and are set for success. 

As they experience the increasingly specialized high school classes, they get excited about topics or classes they like. They develop big dreams. Often, by the end of freshman or sophomore year, they are going to go to the name brand school; Law School, Music School, Medical School. These are exciting times.

Unfortunately, factors can dampen their spirits and dash their hopes:

  • Classes are harder, expectations higher and grading is less forgiving. Students who have always gotten all “A’s” can encounter some grades they’ve never seen before. Most make the adjustment, but some become discouraged and give up.
  • They are negatively influenced by the mediocrity of the general student population. There is intense peer pressure to do as little as possible. Unless highly self-motivated, positively influenced by strong teachers or from home, the slide to do as little as possible progresses. 
  • They struggle with seeing the long-term. When I talk to band freshmen about an award they can receive senior year, but that requires some things that they must do freshman year, one of the challenges is to get them to see that far ahead. If you want to see some rolled eyes and crossed arms, just try telling freshmen about the super high standards of top-tier colleges. 
  • Some smart students will coast along – because they can. Students won’t get in trouble in a public high school for getting a B or C grade. No. The emphasis is on RTI, on intervening on behalf of failing students. Teachers are pressured to have a rigorous class and to do everything they can to pass everybody. The goals tend to center around aiming for that 80% mark. Teachers can be punished for having too many low grades, but are not rewarded for high grades, so by default, the idea of average and mediocrity, if not encouraged, are at least tolerated – and become the norm.

By the time students reach junior and senior years and begin to see the next level, their grades and past practices can knock them out of consideration. The problem is less that they couldn’t have done it than that they didn’t know. They’re not stupid, just ignorant.

They treat college prep the same way they treat high school homework

Just a few weeks into freshman year at his top-tier university, my son called to tell me about his first English class paper.

“Dad, I’ve got a grade on this paper that I’ve never seen before.”

When I asked him what he had done differently, the response was….

“I did what I always did in high school. I waited until the night before it was due and then wrote the paper.”

He discovered that the bar was set higher there. 

I hear students discussing (or watch some of their social-media posts) about a paper they are writing for another class. Here are typical statements:

200 words down – 300 to go.

Half a page to go – if I increase the font and adjust the margins very slightly, maybe [teacher] won’t notice.

Does anyone have a paragraph I can borrow about…

The goal is not excellence, but average. Students demonstrate realization that the system’s goal is not to get an ‘A’, but to meet the assignment. We unintentionally encourage the problem by emphasizing meeting minimum standards or expectations. We don’t strive for excellence, but to meet or slightly exceed the standard, the minimum, the average. Administrators praise teachers when they can display on the big screen a graph showing their school ever so slightly ahead of the state average. The school where I teach celebrated receipt of a ‘B’ (one step up from average) rating from the state. No one talks about becoming the best school in the state. That kind of talk seems reserved for athletics and the arts, not so much for academics.

The GOOD NEWS is, that if the goal is to get into the community college or the big state university, that approach will probably work. But for these freshmen and sophomores with those big dreams of becoming the lawyer, the doctor, the engineer or the professional musician, those are not the “standards” that make it in the top tier schools – or in life.

They take what comes and go with the flow

Given their life history, why are we surprised? Teens coming into high school have had almost no control in their life story. They didn’t choose their parents, or where they live, or what economic condition they would endure. They have moved away from their friends as the parents get jobs or flee bill collectors. They are the unintended wounded in divorces and then have to “learn” to get along with parental “friends” or to have to go back and forth between parents. They have to learn to become brothers and sisters to someone else’s children. They have two and three bedrooms in different homes. Some jump from home to home weekly while others make a long summer move every year. The reality of single-parent households often includes a poverty component, or an absent parent working multiple jobs to try to make it. And what choice does the teen have? 

By the time they get to high school, they are numb to relationship building. When they apply some of the standards and practices they’ve witnessed in their homes to their first boy/girlfriends, they experience similar traumatic results. Hearts are broken, and many erect shields of protection as a defense to both students and adults – including teachers.

So when the realities of their short-sighted focuses, crushed dreams and dashed hopes come to bear as they approach time for college decisions, they default into the same mode they already know so well. They just take it. They go with the flow.

Check out 3 Scholarship Strategies That Worked For Me and Mine

The Harsh Reality of Getting To and Paying For College Read More »

Selmer Series 10 and mouthpiece updates

College Prep, Family, News and Happenings, Personal experience, Public Schools, Repost, Solo Prep, Teaching /
selmer clarinetAccording to the 4-digit serial number, my Selmer/Paris Series 10 clarinet was manufactured in 1967. In 1968, my hs band director told my mother I had to get one. Not optional. He might as well have told her I needed a Mercedes for my first car. Dad made me a 50/50 deal, and after selling lemonade to golfers and hanging ad papers on doors … I got it.
I used it all through hs. It got me Solo/Ensemble medals, traveled with me and Holmes Band to KMEA and MENC, to Murfreesboro, TN and Virginia Beach, VA…. to All-State Orchestra, to band clinic and select bands, to summer music camps at Eastern Kentucky and Morehead State Universities, and followed me to Europe/U.S.S.R. with the United States Collegiate Wind Band in the summer between hs and college. I had to replace it at UK bc the clarinet prof kept saying things like,
“That was awful. I can’t tell if it was you or that crappy clarinet.”
clarinet2Anyway, I just opened packages of cleaning supplies, including swabs, key and bore oil, silver polish, swabs, disinfectant and more….. I want to see if it still has all the notes and speed it once did. Students have heard me talk about instruments with “speed buttons”.
Oh, working on my 1973-ish Buffet R-13 also. Both are considered “vintage” at this point.

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Students are not Starfish

1 Comment / Classroom Teacher, High Schools, Public Schools, Repost, Respect, Teaching, Uncategorized /

Starfish on the beachby John Gardner (via LinkedIn)

The starfish story (not my original) is about someone trying to make a difference and I think of it periodically when I find myself trying to balance that healthy, professional detachment from the lives of individual students with the reality and significance of those lives and my desire to make a difference by being more than “just” a classroom teacher.

Working with students is not a life or death proposition, of course, but some seem to get washed up on the beach. Here’s the story and 10 ways to make a difference. Those 10 ways represent my core beliefs in teaching and working with teens.

The man was out for a walk on the beach when he noticed a boy frantically picking things up and throwing them into the ocean. Curious, he approached the boy to discover that he was picking up starfish that had washed up on to the beach — and was throwing them back into the water.
“Son, what are you doing?” the man asked.
“The tide is going out and these starfish got left behind. I’m throwing them back into the water to save them.”
“But son, there are hundreds of miles of beach. You can’t possibly make a difference.”
As the boy picked up another starfish, he threw it into the water and then turned and said to the man,

“I made a difference to THAT one.”

———————————

Teen years can be trying times.  Parents may be fighting, separating, dating and remarrying, which means the teen now has to not only deal with a break up of a foundation in his/her life, but often now has to live in multiple households. Some have to adjust to step-siblings, job losses, financial struggles and more. Then, there are the complexities of school with seemingly unending pressures to perform, trying to get through the dating games, often without an anchor or example to follow. Influenced by increasingly negative social standards, or lack of standards….. teens can get caught in the rise and falling tides. Most learn how to negotiate life’s trying currents, but can turn the wrong way, make a miscalculation or poor decision — and find themselves high and dry on the beach…..and they need help. Not every student needs, wants or will accept a teacher’s help. Sometimes the teacher’s effort is both unappreciated and unsuccessful.

But try we must…because we CAN make a difference “to THAT one”.

Ten ways to make a difference:

  1. Be real. You can’t fake it with teens, they will see right through you. If you can’t be real, you should not be there. Please leave education.
  2. Be available. How easy is it for a teen to say to YOU, “Can I talk to you?”? What if it is not during class or immediately after school? In how many different ways are you available and do students know and understand that? Do they know if it is ok to email, call, text or instant message you? When a teen says they need to talk, somebody needs be available. Be that person. Consider your use of texting and social media.
  3. Be there. Yes, you’re “on duty” at school. What about when a student is in the hospital, at the funeral home, pitching in the softball/baseball game, getting baptized, being awarded Eagle Scout status, or when their garage-type band is playing at the coffee shop? Take your spouse or your kids and just be where you can when you can. They will notice.
  4. Trust them. If you want trust, you need to give some. I have a periodic discussion about trust, abusing it, losing it and the difficulty in earning it a second time. Read: “I WANT To Trust You“. Teens make mistakes and the trust area is one of those places where they can mess up. But help them learn. Take a reasonable chance. Yes, you’ll get burned some….but you will also empower leaders to rise up.
  5. Respect them. There is a good chance they will recognize and return it.
  6. Advocate for them. Of course you have students who are financially challenged and could benefit from music lessons, a better instrument, participation in a select ensemble or some other training. You won’t always succeed, but try to find funding to help. Call the employer to help him get that job. Write a letter to help her get that scholarship. Help them with college applications their parents can’t (or won’t).
  7. Listen, really listen. Teens typically think that people don’t listen. They think adults are quick to lecture, criticize and correct, but are slow to listen. You don’t always have to have the answer. Sometimes there isn’t an obvious answer. Sometimes listening is the answer, because in allowing them to share, you enable them to find their own answer. Unless they are sharing something illegal, dangerous, hear them out. Don’t argue. Don’t interrupt. Don’t pre-judge. And when you can, share your wisdom, experience, expertise and advice.
  8. Expect and Encourage Excellence. Students will complain when the load is heavy and the challenge is significant, but they know, even when they won’t admit, that achieving excellence requires work. They want to achieve and succeed. Being there for them doesn’t mean lowering your standards. Make them stretch. They’ll appreciate you eventually, even if not today.
  9. Don’t assume. A question I ask often is, “You okay?” Simple question….and sometimes they shrug it off, but there have been many times for me that this gives them the opening to ask for help.
  10. Don’t give up. It can be difficult, disappointing and even deflating when teens mess up. Don’t give up on them. That’s what the rest of society wants to do sometimes…. They will be disappointed that they disappointed you, but your unconditional support (not approving what they do) is vitally important to them.

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Relative Pitch is not Perfect

Leave a Comment / Classroom Teacher, College Prep, Music Department, Personal experience, Public Schools, Teaching /

Perfect pitch means you can hear a tone or multiple tones and identify them. There was a girl in undergrad music theory class at UK who had perfect pitch. She described it as painful if a vocal ensemble was to lose pitch, i.e. go flat/sharp. 

Another person I worked with professionally was a local band director wife. We could use her as a tuner, because she not only knew the pitch, but whether you were ever so slightly off. We would bring her in periodically to critique and the students always enjoyed trying to “trip her up”. But perfect means perfect and they never could. 

In one rehearsal, without a score in front of her, she made a comment like, “The Bb7 chord at letter E is both wrong and out of tune. The altos have the ‘D’ (your ‘B’) and one of you is playing a Bb and another of you is playing the right note, but quite sharply.” We checked. She was perfect.

I do not have perfect pitch, but good “relative” pitch. It serves me well in two general ways. First, as a clarinetist, I can usually “hear” the pitch before I play it and so can come in on the right note/partial and on pitch. Especially when listening to a clarinet, I can usually tell you the note, but more because I know the different timbres of notes. An open ‘G’ sounds different than a ‘Bb’, for example.

It also serves me well in rehearsals as I have keen “hearing eyes”. I can tell if what I’m hearing is what I’m looking at in the music score. I established that when I would say, “Someone is missing [specific note]. If you don’t fix it, I will find you”, they knew I could, so sometimes, when I stop the music, look down at the score (to figure out what I heard and where it might be coming from) and focus my attention toward a section of the group I might find someone with his/her hand already raised to confess, “It was me”. 

During a grad class, I had to stay after class one day because I was doing something the professor said I shouldn’t have been able to do and he wanted to find out how I was “cheating”. 

His researched position was that you could only retain and re-sound about 8-11 random tones. To make his point, he emphasized why phone numbers are broken down; 260-786-6554 vs 2607866554 or that credit card numbers are “batched” in 4’s because we can’t remember 16. 

Then for practical proof, he started playing series of tones. We were to sing them back and drop out when we missed. Not unlike a spelling bee, by the time he got to 12-13 tones, there were only two of us left. The other person dropped out and the professor, in a frustrated tone, asked me how I was “cheating”. 

Working 1-1 after class, he noticed (I didn’t even know I was doing it) I was fingering my pencil. His conclusion, and I had none better to offer, was that I was “hearing tones in clarinet” and then “playing them back”. 

What I did was not unique. I know of others who have trained their ears to hear specific pitches, such as an ‘open G’ on trumpet or a vocal “do” on ‘c’. 

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11 Things Small Business and Fire Departments Should Have In Common

Leave a Comment / Classroom Teacher, High Schools, Music Department, Public Schools, Sales and Marketing, Small Business, Storytelling, Teaching, Teaching Music /

My dad was a 32-yr career firefighter, retiring as an Assistant Chief for a moderately sized, full-time department that had about 10 stations throughout the city. I recall a childhood time when my siblings and I were vising him at the firehouse. When the alarm sounded, he abruptly pointed to the wall, and said

“Stand right there ’til someone comes for you.”

Immediately, 10 doors (5 front, 5 rear) open, the intercom is announcing location and status, and people are hustling from every direction Twenty seconds later, the building is open, empty and quiet. One of the dispatchers invited us into his area while our mother scrambled to come pick us up.

As a small business owner, I believe some of my Dad’s Fire Department practices could help Small Business when it comes to putting out fires. Here are 11 things Small Business and Fire Departments should have in common.

Fire Departments

  • The Facility is well cared for. There are assignments (often seniority based) for sweeping/moping, washing/waxing, cooking, dishes, janitorial, supply maintenance, inventory and more. Rookies get the grunt jobs, but everybody has assignments and responsibilities with accountability.
  • Saving time is paramount.Vehicles are always facing the door for quick departure. Driver doors are left opened. Boots and pants are kept close to the truck (or the bed) and set for the firefighter to step into the boots and pull up the pants. Coats and helmets are on the truck to be added en route. When the bell rings, things happen and seconds count.
  • Equipment is organized and ready. Hoses have been carefully cleaned, inspected and rolled, and tools have been cleaned and stored so everyone knows where they are. Tire pressures, water levels and fuel have all been checked and readied. Efficient access is essential.
  • Skill sets are in place for lots of contingencies (types of fires, whether people are at risk, etc). Sometimes things don’t go the way they’re supposed to.
  • Practice, practice, practice. They practice driving through the streets (need to know every street, location of every fire hydrant), practice moving through smoke and fire, climb ladders, spray water, use the tools, lots of speed tests, inspections and homework. Ready to perform.
  • Group and Individual Goals plus Assignments are clearly defined, understood and bought into. There is no discussion about who gets to shoot the water cannon or hook up the hoses. They already know who is primary and secondary in hose control or who is going up the ladder first. Avoid unnecessary drama.
  • Coordination, Collaboration and Communication are essential. Control the traffic lights, mobilize police, roll the ambulance if needed or in doubt, notify the hospital and street departments, hold the trains, and get the business owner on the line. My dad always said, “We’ll be there in under 90 seconds”.
  • The Chain of Command is absolute. On a fire fun, the police are in support mode. Everyone has expertise and input, but primary is to trust and obey, for there’s no other way.
  • The only pic I have of my dad at a fire and he is there in street clothes. As the Asst off-duty Chief, he’s there getting his hands dirty.

    Firefighters know who they work for and will sacrifice to serve. When someone calls 911, firefighters will do what firefighters did on 9/11.

  • No firefighter is ever left behind.Period.
  • When the gig is over, get ready for the next one. The trip back to the firehouse can be exhausting, but some things can’t wait until tomorrow.

————————————————–

Small Business

  • The Facility is well cared for. What does your work area look like at the end of a day? Are there water bottles, messy desks, stacks of mail and reports? Unless you have a fantastic janitorial staff, make assignments. Delegate. What is your expectation for facility cleanliness and functionality?
  • Saving time is paramount. When it is time to start, is everything ready? Is there an agenda, task list or to-do list for the day?
  • Equipment is organized and ready. Desks are clean, waste baskets empty, floors swept, restrooms supplied, light bulbs in, etc? When that important phone call comes in, you don’t want to have to spend time getting ready to handle it.
  • Skill sets are in place for contingencies. Have you cross trained employees so that you can still function if the secretary, receptionist or warehouse manager are out sick or otherwise unavailable? Can you still answer phones, respond to emails, texts, faxes or social media messages, know where to find records when needed to answer a customer call or complaint, load or unload the truck and know where to place or retrieve product?
  • Practice, practice, practice. Schools have monthly fire drills even though there hasn’t been a school fire-related death in over 60 years. They also practice tornado drills and, increasingly, active shooter drills. Hopefully they never encounter any of those, but if they do — they have a better chance survival because they practiced. Having a list of procedures or contingencies is good, but nothing is better than practice. Practice your cross-trained assignments.
  • Are Group and Individual Goals plus Assignments clearly defined, understood and bought into? When a fire fighter makes a mistake on scene, someone can die. Business is not usually life and death, but do your order fulfillment personnel understand what happens when they make mistakes?

One of the most effective practices I put into place was to bring in a salesperson to talk to our order fulfillment crew and explain to them what happens to his customer, his income and even their jobs when orders go out with too many errors.

  • Coordination, Collaboration and Communication are essential. You have administration, management, office and warehouse staff….do all the appropriate people know what you are doing? Do you?
  • The Chain of Command is absolute. Everybody needs to be on the same team, but there can only be one coach. Encourage and welcome input, but make sure the team understands that once a decision happens, debate ends and action begins.
  • Employees know who they work for and will sacrifice to serve. If they won’t go above and beyond for you, then you have a different problem. Strive to instill pride and earn loyalty.
  • No customer is ever left behind. Period.
  • When the gig is over, get ready for the next one.

Meticulously planning and preparing for, and then efficiently and effectively fighting “fires” is something both fire fighters and small business owners should be good at. Business should be ready, but not always “putting out fires”.

The purpose of THIS post is to encourage you to be READY and SET so that when the alarm rings, you are prepared to GO!

Thanks for reading,
JohnGardner@VirtualMusicOffice.com

I wrote a tribute to my Dad, the firefighter, and included description and picture from the worst fire he ever fought…. the Beverly Hills Supper Club fire of 1977 that took the lives of 165 people, including my high school clarinet teacher. I also talk about his Fire Chief experience with accusations and responses to sexism and racism. Read more…. 

 

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Helping students get private instruction and/or better instruments

Leave a Comment / Communication, High Schools, Personal experience, Public Schools, Teaching Music /

Beginning instruments are designed for beginners. The bores on some of the brass instruments are smaller because of the lesser air capacity the 6th grader has. Keys on mass-produced woodwinds are designed to survive some falls and mistreatment.

Once a student gets to high school, they’ve been playing that beginning instrument for three or more years and, especially if they show potential, I start to encourage them to step up because at some point it will become the instrument itself holding them back.

My first two experiences involved siblings. I was out of college and teaching band when my youngest sister was in high school band. She needed a new trumpet and I was able to get one for her through the instrument dealer I worked with. My brother got to play my Selmer clarinet when I had moved to Buffet.

Not all my attempts were successful. When I approached one farmer-papa about a new clarinet, his question was,

“Isn’t that the clarinet you told us to buy?”

He had also challenged me when I said I wanted to spend 1-1 time with his daughter in individual instruction.

“Aren’t you the teacher?”, he asked. “Then why don’t you find a way to teach her without me paying extra money for you to do your job.”

He eventually became a very supportive father and band parent.

One high school clarinetist was really good. She was studying with me and was at the point where she needed better equipment. And, knowing her father’s job, I was confident finances were not a problem. I tried the “puppy dog close”.

I learned the “puppy dog close” in sales training. The idea is that you go to the pet store and the store owner offers to let you take a puppy home for the evening with the ability to bring it back the next day. The puppy never comes back.

This is before I was on staff at the high school, but I had a good relationship with the music store in Fort Wayne. I went and asked if I could borrow a Buffet R-13 (top-of-the-line) clarinet with the idea that I could bring it back in two days if I did not sell it for them. They reluctantly agreed.

The next day I was in the band room as students came in for rehearsal. I called that girl over, handed her the new clarinet and asked her to try it out during rehearsal. As expected, she was amazed at the difference. I asked her to take it home for the evening (along with the price tag) and bring it back the next day if she decided not to keep it. She walked in the next day with a check for payment in full. No commission for me.

I was with a student and her family at solo festival. She had worked hard, but struggled in the performance. The mechanics of the instrument were messing her over. Afterward, in the hallway, dad asked me how I thought she did.

“She should get a Gold (she did), but she was fighting that instrument most of the way.”

The next day she had a new clarinet at school. Turns out, papa went to the music store table and bought her a step-up instrument on the spot.

A high school student was taking private lessons and her teacher told me on multiple occasions that her instrument was “crap”. My understanding in talking with the student was that there were some family financial difficulties.

Partly because of her finances, I found a doner and worked out a deal with her instructor to give her lessons for a year. When I called her in to tell her about it, I told her I wanted her to make sure the doner got his money’s worth. There were tears and a promise.

The teacher reinforced with me how incredibly prepared she was for her lessons, but still lamented about the quality of her horn.

I asked for a parent/student/teacher conference and met with them one day after school. I told the parental,

“She is an excellent musician. For financial reasons, we set up lessons for her for a year. She is doing an incredible job with those and her teacher stresses how she is the most prepared student he has had. But [she] needs a better instrument. I don’t know the details of your finances and I can’t tell you how to make it happen, but this girl needs [this]. The music store will work with you, but this needs to happen.”

There were more tears — and a new horn.

That student is now a Band Director.

There were other situations over the years where I was able to help coordinate or provide private lessons or to help a student get better equipment to work with.

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Puppy Dogs and Clarinets

Leave a Comment / Classroom Teacher, College Prep, High Schools, Music Department, Personal experience, Public Schools, Sales and Marketing, Small Business, Teaching, Teaching Music /

By John Gardner

white labrador retriever puppy dogThere is a sales technique called the “Puppy Dog” close. It gets is name from the puppy dog at the pet shop scenario:

A mother and young child go into a pet store to buy a dog. They find one, but mamma says it is too expensive.

The wise sales clerk invites the mother and child to take the puppy home for the night….with the offer to bring it back the next day if they don’t think it is worth the price.

They will NOT likely bring the puppy back.

I fell for that sales close with a car once. My wife wasn’t with me when I stopped on the lot (intentional, so I had a way out of a pressure sales situation). The smart salesperson invited me to drive the car home to show her. SOLD!

Classic music Sax tenor saxophone and clarinet in blackI used the “Puppy Dog” approach with a clarinet student (I will call her Sally). The first time I heard her play was in a middle school concert. I didn’t know Sally, but I noticed her. It was 2-3 yrs later when I convinced her parents to let her study privately with me. She had incredible musicianship but was hindered by a mediocre instrument.

When I would ask about a step up instrument, she always responded about how busy her parents were. Knowing her father’s occupation, I knew PRICE was NOT the issue.

The music dealer let me borrow a top of the line clarinet for a day, with return privilege that I was not expecting to utilize.

I took the clarinet to Sally’s band rehearsal at the high school, instructing her to play it in the rehearsal and then to take it home that night to practice with at home and either return the clarinet or payment the next day. She handed me the check for payment in full.

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Is it ever ok for a teacher to LOVE students?

2 Comments / High Schools, Personal experience, Public Schools, Repost, Respect, Teaching, Teaching Music /

There is more to school life than what happens during the academic day. Some academic teachers are also coaches or extracurricular sponsors. Coaches develop strong bonds with their athletes. Music and theater arts teachers spend considerable extracurricular time with students – evenings, weekends, summers. These teacher/student relationships are significant and life long impacting.

Is it ever ok for a teacher to LOVE students?

In a reunion with some of the students from my first teaching job, as they were sharing memories, one person put it this way:

“Come back to teach the students of the students you taught.”

I expected to hear some of the heart-warming stories and did, but one comment caught me off guard a little. As one was listing attributes he appreciated, he included…..

“…and your smile.”

What teachers do you remember most 10-20-30 years out, and for what do you remember them?

Band is the ultimate team.

Unlike a basketball team with its starting five, there is no bench in band. Everybody is in. Everybody is a starter. Few other types of groups will involve people from such varied backgrounds. There are children of doctors and lawyers performing with children of single-parents working multiple jobs or utilizing government help. There are the students who have their own cars and those who need rides, those with the iPhones and the free phones or no phone. You will find students in most bands from every church in the community and others who have never been inside a church.

High school provides a memorable time for teens and parents to be on the same team before graduation and the empty nest.

If only it were like that for all teens.

At this most critical time in their decision-making years, if teens can’t find love, acceptance, encouragement and support from parents, teachers and mentors, they will search for it elsewhere, often with disastrous results leaving them with consequences that change lives and crush dreams.

But even more than TEAM, band is FAMILY…

Most high school athletic teams are together for a “season” — maybe six weeks with a few more for preparation. Band meets in the summer, including band camp which can be 8+hours a day. Then there is every day at school with additional rehearsals in the evenings, plus the Friday football/basketball game and the Saturday competition.

…and more functional than some.

As I stood outside Door 34, she jumped out of the passenger side of the car and ran past me, teary-eyed, crying,

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

As she went by I saw the papa, for the first time, approaching me and angrily waving a piece of paper.

“How much of this schedule is mandatory?”

I paused, if only for a moment as I thought through his reaction to my answer…

“All of it.”

After grumbling something that I probably couldn’t repeat, he returned to the car and didn’t quite lay rubber in his exit. The daughter was waiting in my office, still crying and apologetic. I hugged her. How does such a sweet daughter have a parent like that?

There are loving parents who are working 2-3 jobs each, going to school and dealing with the challenges of large families – and it is somewhere between difficult and impossible for them to spend a lot of time at football games, parades and competitions. I get that. But what do you say to this parent?

“We need to pull [Benjamin] out of band because he won’t clean his room and he needs to learn respect. He loves band and so this is the only valuable thing we can take away to make our point.”

Or this one?

“Why should I pay money for her to spend time spinning a flag. There are no colleges that will offer scholarships and besides, what job is that going to prepare her for?”

Or to these students?

“Can you please give me something to do. I’ll straighten the library….anything….just don’t make me go home.”

“I have a job so I can earn the money for my band fee, and I keep hiding it, but my mother keeps finding it and taking it.”

“I have to quit music lessons. My dad found out I was using some of my job money for music lessons and says that if I am going to waste my money on that – I can start paying rent.”

“Please don’t try to introduce yourself to my dad. Please don’t. Please, please, please don’t. He is not a nice man.”

I want to share the LOVE they may be missing.

Educationally, the L-word is dangerous. Administrations encourage admiration and respect, but love is conspicuously absent. Understandable. Inappropriate teacher student relationships make national news and destroy lives. Elementary teachers can hug students, but by middle school it is to be a touchless relationship. I disagree.

Sometimes an appropriate touch, handshake, high five, tap on the shoulder or even a hug – can be powerfully effective in mentoring, consoling or encouraging. It doesn’t have to be physical. It can be listening and responding when others won’t.

C.S. Lewis in his book, The Four Loves, divides the Greek vocabulary for “love” into four categories:  Storge (στοργή storgē) -affection, Philia (Philia (φιλία philía) – friendship, Éros (ἔρως érōs) – romantic love, and Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē) – charity.

None of those match completely what I’m trying to define. Storge (affection) can include the physical. Philia (i.e. Philadelphia – brotherly love) comes close but can include the sexual. Éros is obviously not appropriate, and Agápe, often interpreted as the love between Christians is also close, but gets into spiritual and that is not quite it either.

I “L” my students with a parental type. I see their potential and their youthful enthusiasm and I love that. I love their willingness to share with me things that they can’t comfortably share anywhere else.

“You are always the one to trust with issues like this because you treat us like people and not just another bunch of “teenagers”.”

I ADMIRE students who…

  • pay band fees out of a paycheck
  • pay for private instruction lessons out-of-pocket
  • seem completely self-supporting (clothes, obligations)
  • apologize for the way their parent(s) behaved
  • juggle the extra rehearsals and activities with job and homework — and go for the best grades without parental encouragement or expectation
  • keep a positive attitude when others have parents involved and but they don’t

Nobody said life is fair. Those who endure hardships can be the better for it later. Trust me on that. As the oldest of five children raised in a single parent family by a polio surviving mother (and if you have no idea what that means, thank God), I understand poverty, but also how to work through it, with it, around it, and above it …. so cut me some slack when I don’t expect less from the less fortunate.

Students often impress me with friend choices and for the way they support and encourage each other. It is moving to see how friends and band members surround one who is hurting, physically or emotionally. With proper relationships established, teachers can be included in, or involved separately in similar support and encouragement – even of some personal issues.

I RESPECT students …

  • who work through moderate pain or discomfort without complaint
  • who have the musical ability to thrive, but can’t get the new instrument, or the private lessons, or go to the summer camps….or even stay in band, because of a parent who doesn’t see the value of band or color guard
  • expect more of themselves than their parents do
  • endure custody battles and try not to allow it to interfere with band

I hope these students appreciate how hard I try to make their situations work out.

And we have students whose parents are their biggest cheerleaders and amazing supporters…..

  • helping them earn the highest of Boy or Girl Scout honors
  • supporting their garage band
  • encouraging out of country mission trips
  • inspiring them to pursue the same vocation as the parent
  • or spending countless hours volunteering for band (committees, sewing, cooking, feeding, chaperoning, driving, etc)

We have CARING students who….

  • stand outside Wal-mart when it is below freezing to ring bells and play Salvation Army brass ensemble music
  • volunteer in nursing homes and with church youth groups in a host of different types of volunteerism
  • help raise money for those sick and injured

I am a retired high school teacher who appropriately loves, admires, and respects students.

Teacher Student Love

 

Is it ever ok for a teacher to LOVE students? Read More »

17 signs you teach in a factory school

1 Comment / Factory Education, High Schools, Public Schools, Teaching, Types of education /

I attended “10th District” Elementary School and an inner-city, public Jr/Sr High School that had three, 4-floor buildings. Then I went to a 40,000 student state-subsidized University and recently retired from a 1400-student public high school.

Four factors contributed to my writing this post, designed as an introduction.

1. The first reference I recall to anything related to “factory education” was in a meeting between administration/school board and a group of concerned high school parents challenging the predicted negative impact of a schedule change on their audition-based ensemble. Responding to a passionate presentation, an administrative representative boasted,

We’re not here to teach the elite,
we’re hear to teach the masses. 

2. A grad school professor at Ball State criticized “factory education” and emphasized the need to redesign the model and move away from mass production.

3. A colleague at my high school who was in on the planning and there when the doors opened, described how the building was designed like a factory — with the offices in the front and the different department modules.

4. My sons are involved with some non-factory setup educational models (a Classical Christian Academy, a School of Performing Arts, and a Boston area boarding school) and I look forward to utilizing what I learn from their experiences to help me (and you) understand why public schools are sometimes referred to as factory models of education, or education factories cranking out graduates the way assembly lines crank out cars.

The modern assembly line

Henry Ford revolutionized the concept of the modern mass-production factory in the early 20th century when he developed the concept of a revolutionary new process using skilled workers in specialized areas where the workers were stationary and the product parts were assembled as they moved from branch lines to the mainline where the final product was assembled and completed when it reached the end of the line. Prior to that, groups of individuals moved around a stationary vehicle. His approach was all about dividing the labor to speed up the line to produce more product efficiently. The person who inserted the screw was not the one who tightened it, for example. Every worker had a small part in the production until the completed product reached the end of the line.

Looking at these satellite views and floor plans, can you tell which are high schools and which are factories? I’ll share more points following the pictures.

Indiana High School
Indiana High School
General Motors Assembly in Fort Wayne, Indiana
General Motors Assembly in Fort Wayne, Indiana
Floor Plan A
Floor Plan A
Floor Plan B
Floor Plan B
Floor Plan C
Floor Plan C
Floor Plan D
Floor Plan D

Two of the above floor plans are high schools and two are factories. Can you tell which is which? I’ll give the answer below.

Indications that you might be in a factory school.

Factory-vs-School

In the above floor plans, A & D are schools while B & C are factories.

I was trained in public schools and universities. My sons experienced public education through high school. One went on to a public university, is currently attending a private graduate institution, plus involved in a private School of Performing Arts and a Classical Christian Academy. The other son went to a private, top-tier undergraduate university, an Ivy-League graduate school and will be teaching in an elite boarding school outside Boston as a high school professor with his Ph.D.

A few of the questions I hope to address in future posts:

  1. Given today’s circumstances vs those in the ’80s when my children entered school, would I repeat the path of public education or go a different route?
  2. What are some of the differences in the approach of the top-tier universities and elite boarding schools? Should you?
  3. Is it really all about the money, i.e. can those with the means really get a better education?
  4. Are there multiple worlds of education?
  5. Is life fair?
  6. What options do we have?

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17 signs you teach in a factory school Read More »

Names students would call me to my face

Leave a Comment / Assistant Directing, High Schools, Marching Band, Personal experience, Public Schools, Respect, Storytelling, Teaching, Teaching Music /

DAD

My first teaching year, fresh out of college, I was only four years older than the seniors in the band. At Camp Crescendo, it was the band director’s responsibility to ensure students were all in the dorms for lights out. There was one particular senior girl, Sherrie P., who started calling me “dad” — and it stuck…at least, during camp. Every evening as I walked around the dorm area to ensure my “children” were all where they were supposed to be, I would hear variations of “Good night dad”…. And “Thanks for checking on us dad.”

I was worried about getting back to school for my first semester on the job and having students calling me “dad” in the hallway. 

Fortunately, that didn’t happen.

“G” …

…has been the most common and the most persistent.

“GARDNER”

I rarely felt like students were being disrespectful, or I would never have allowed that. The very few times that I questioned, I told them my first name is “Mister”.

GPA

Toward the end, instead of being 4yrs older than the seniors, I am 4x their age, older than their parents and maybe even some of their grandparents. 

Other Misc

“GEESTER”
“G-DOG”
“MR. G”

Names students would call me to my face Read More »