I can handle civil disagreement, especially when it is something I said. If you think I’m wrong, tell me. That’s what friends do. If you think I went too far, tell me. I can (and did – just a couple days ago) apologize and edit or delete something I said that caused unintended ill will. We can still be friends.
There are people I like, respect, admire (even love) … who have different views than I do in religion, politics, socially, even gender and sexual preference areas. I can still be your friend. Can you still be mine?
You can even be sarcastic in disagreeing with me, but know that I am a sarcasm master and not afraid to use it.
But there are some extremes that cross lines I cannot accept. If you want to be my friend, be careful with labels and name-calling, especially toward ME on MY page. And be careful liking (or even loving) hurtful, attacking name-calling comments.
I seldom look at my FB Friend List in years, but it has become necessary — so I’ve done some Spring Cleaning. Along the way I found:
* Deleted accounts still on my list.
* No communication in years (decades even).
* People I can’t remember at all. Probably my fault.
* Multiple accounts. One friend had 5 and I was friends with two of him.
* One of my brothers has two accounts…..double-friended.
* Hatefully anti-Christian…(I can handle friendly disagreement) and am friends with non-Christians…. I won’t attack you personally and I cannot allow you to attack my most core beliefs.
* Hatefully Political. NO politician (or political party) is as perfect as Jesus, evil as Hitler, right OR wrong 100% of the time.
Don’t worry. If you see this post, you’re still good in my book. And if you don’t see it (perhaps someone tells you), don’t ASSUME because FB doesn’t automatically show everything to everybody — even your friends.
When it is time to renew your domain name, you might want to research options to get a better price.
I’ve experienced enough that I can see a pattern.
One of my clients, huntingtonbaptist.org, had a domain renewal coming due at and the price was going to be over $37. I contacted my current hosting provider and their price for every year, was under $17. So, I contacted the domain registrar and started the process to transfer the domain, which required gaining access to the client’s account. And THAT required updating some information and THAT required sending in utility bills, a photo id and more…. Okay, access gained. I started the process to unlock the domain and request an authorization code.
THEN….I get an offer to renew the domain for 1 year for $10. DONE!
Having learned that, when I got notice from that one of MY domains (virtualmusicoffice.com), that cost me $38.xx last year was up for renewal, I started the process to transfer. Suddenly my price drops to under $16.
“Burn me once…..”
So I continued the process to unlock, get auth code and start transfer process to my $17/yr host. DONE!
While I was in the transfer mood, I went to the registrar for qdpcorp.com and went ahead and transferred it to my current host.
Conclusion / Recommendations:
Service providers involved included: Tucows, Network Solutions, Hostcentric, Register, and iPage.
The initial price is only for those who auto renew. The LOWER price is for those who might leave.
If you have a domain up for renewal, instead of automatically renewing, call to START the process to transfer it to get the super-duper 1-year-only discount price. [Then be sure to do that again next year].If you don’t know how to do that, proceed to step #2.
I complimented her smile and stepped into creepy and wokeness.
As a [former] teacher of teens, I understand the careful lines teachers (and students) should observe, especially in the area of commenting on how someone looks. When I was a new teacher and only 3-4 years older than some of the students in my classes, that was even more sensitive. Less so in my last 16yr stint prior to retirement. I have used, what I always intended to be harmless but effective compliments when I would talk about someone’s “smile”. There are many of my former students who could tell you I’ve complimented or commented in that way. No one, not a single student or any parent has ever, EVER said they felt something I had said to or about them or their student was inappropriate or unprofessional.
I did cause a mild murmur in a concert audience once when I said,
“Parents, I want you to know that I love, admire and respect your students.”
That came up in a subsequent admin evaluation, but nothing was written down and the only caution was to, “be careful”.
I have multiple writings about those topics. Here are two:
I was moved by the above video. Such a brave girl to escape under threat of death from North Korea. I was angered that there were some students who bullied her because of her speech difficulties (she came here knowing almost zero English). But then, also warmed and encouraged by the way she described most American friends have reacted to and accepted her.
I posted a comment:
Note that there were over 400 thumbs up and zero thumbs down. Also note the heart/love from the video create. So, SHE certainly understood my compliment and was not offended by it.
There were mainly two types of negative replies:
“Looks like we found a creeper in the comments.” (4 likes)
“It’s creepy. Sorry, but it is. You can think it but writing it is weird.” (2 likes)
But there were many more defenders than attackers. I did learn what OP means. Haha….and that I am one.
I asked my Facebook friends to tell me what they thought and said in advance I would use what they said:
[Spouse] used to greet people with hello beautiful! at the [business]. Some ladies were so surprised and acted like no one had ever said that to them before and every lady should hear she’s beautiful! Let’s normalize being nice and paying compliments. Not creepy at all.
I say it’s a sad state of affairs when an innocent comment like that is considered offensive. I mean you didn’t ask her to friend request her!It’s not like you asked her out on a date or what her measurements are. Sometimes people need to chill and this is one of those times.
I’ve been in similar boats. I’ve learned to never comment on physical appearance unless asked or I have a close relationship with them. I instead comment on non physical things. Like personality or voice ot whatever. Creepy vs sweet is all about perception. It has nothing to do with intent. Some people read it as some “old” guy being creepy and some thought it was sweet. I think how we perceive that is often based on our own experiences. Because of that, I work harder to be aware of what people may find creepy and just avoid it. Especially in the current social climate.
NOTE: I was teaching when I wrote this. I have since retired, so rather than go through and edit what I am doing with what I did do, I’ll just put this disclaimer out there so you know.
Adults who are afraid of teenagers or who feel like teens of today are nothing like those from their day (adults have been saying that forever, right?) ….. or who think the quality of teens is crumbling….. should come hang out with the teens I get to spend time with.
As a teacher, I can’t use the “love” word, must avoid the “creepy” label (they DO use that word too much), have to be careful how I compliment the way someone looks, and often settle for handshakes and high fives when a good pat on the back or a hug seems so much more appropriate for the circumstance …. but I thoroughly enjoy my time on the school clock. I LOVE the youthful enthusiasm. I ADMIRE their dreams, goals, and aspirations. And I RESPECT those who make the best of their circumstances as they strive for excellence. I am all about encouraging achievers because they allow me into their lives. I “love” this job AND these teens.
My response to the parent who asked recently, “How do you put up with a room FULL of teenagers?” is “I feel sorry for those who DON’T get to experience a room FULL of teenagers.”
Some of the “types” of teens I admire….
I admire teens who thrive because of their parents…
Band students have complicated schedules that can challenge parental patience. There is the expense of instruments and extras (reeds, valve oil, drum sticks) — not to mention private lessons, summer camps, etc. Vacations get adjusted and, especially until the teen can drive, there are countless trips to drop off and pick up.
Some parents sacrifice soooo much in time, energy and money so that their teen can focus on being a better student, athlete, musician, academic or whatever. But all of that is for naught if the teen doesn’t take advantage of it. I admire teens who appreciate what they have and commit themselves to “getting their parents’ money’s worth”.
I admire teens who thrive in spite of their parents.
I was outside Door 34 prior to a rehearsal when she jumped out of the car and ran up to me, crying and wiping tears from her eyes, “G… I’m sorry…..I’m so sorry.” As she ran off into the building I got the impact of her emotion when I saw the approaching papa angrily waving a copy of our schedule.
“How much of this is mandatory?”, he asked angrily
“All of it.”, I responded quietly.
He huffed and puffed and returned to his car. When I walked into the band office, the daughter was waiting for me, tears streaming….wanting to know that I was okay after an encounter with her father. She needed a hug, and I gave her one.
Additional random examples….
“We’re going to pull our son out of band…..his room is a mess.”
“I can’t come to band today. I’m grounded and part of my punishment is whatever consequence I get from you for not being here.”
” He really loves band…..which is why this has to be part of his punishment.”
“She can’t major in color guard in college….so there is no point in the expense for her to be in this activity.”
“My parents took my band card money and my paycheck money. What do I do?”
“Here’s my paycheck to pay you back for letting me go to Disney. I will be able to pay you back from my job over the next three months.” (And did.)
“I have to stop taking private lessons because my dad says if I have money to waste on music lessons that I can pay rent.”
“G, I just got kicked out of my house.”
“Why are you telling my kid (s)he needs extra money for music lessons? Aren’t you the teacher? Why don’t you do what you’re getting paid for?”
“Why should I buy another [instrument]? I bought the one they told me to buy when (s)he started.”
Some of the most determined to succeed band students have parents I never meet. I understand busy and I understand the struggles of single parenthood (there were five kids in my single parent home) and it can be hard….yes, it can be hard. But it is sad sometimes to watch students try not to show disappointment when the parent is not there…. just sayin’.
I admire students who, despite the potential negatives of their circumstances…..are determined to succeed…..
I was coming down the one-way street where we live. There is parking on both sides, but that doesn’t leave much room. Years ago, when I had a conversion van, I managed to take off someone’s mirror with mine. (Yes, I dealt with it.)
On this particular trip, in addition to normal cars parked, I encountered a lawn service truck, an Amazon van, a City Truck and one collecting trash…and I barely made it through with my car. I commented in a post that a fire truck wouldn’t make it and was reminded of a couple of Dad’s firetruck stories and events, one courtesy of my sister.
What happens when you block a fire truck?
Backdraft, a realistic presentation of real fire fighting
The movie, ‘Backdraft’ fascinated me. Dad was a 32-yr veteran firefighter in a full-time city department that had about ten “houses” around town. He was one of three “Chiefs”. He said “Backdraft” was pretty accurately done. I asked about the scene where there is a car parked in front of the hydrant and they break the windows and take the hose through the car.
“We would probably just use the truck to push the car out of the way. The car would be a wreck, but don’t put your car between my truck and our getting to a fire.”
Dad’s “Company 1” Fire House, @ 1975Problematic long driveway at Holmes High School.Entrance gate to Holmes High School. What you can’t see are the iron-works gates that matched the fencing to the right.
What happened when they blocked my Dad’s fire trucks?
Close to that in real life that involved Dad and his trucks happened at my high school around 1980 when my sister was a sophomore. There is a long driveway through the school and at times they would have problems with people speeding through there during school. On one particular day, someone chained shut the large ironworks gate. They weren’t supposed to do that, I’m sure, but those drivers and that long driveway could be disturbing and a safety concern.
There was a fire alarm and Dad was on duty.
When the trucks arrived at the school, they encountered the locked main gate. Guess what they did?
Dad never talked about that story, but sister tells me she remembers faculty talking about the Fire Department “busting the gates down”.
I can handle civil disagreement, especially when it is something I said. If you think I’m wrong, tell me. That’s what friends do. If you think I went too far, tell me. I can (and did – just a couple days ago) apologize and edit or delete something I said that caused unintended ill will. We can still be friends.
