Matching Outfits
Matching outfits, your way or this way.
Safety, Transparency and Reputation when Coaching Students
By John Gardner
For a short time during my earliest teen years, without concern about walking to and into his home, I studied piano with a single guy who lived a few blocks away. During high school freshman year, I took lessons with a college girl who came to our school and went with me into a sound-proofed practice room. Later in high school, I would travel weekly to an area band director’s home for instruction. Concerns about safety transparency and reputation never came up.
But times are different now. Priests, coaches, and teachers are convicted of having inappropriate relationships with children and students, creating a sensitive and suspicious society that dissuades good teachers and students from participating in the time-tested tradition of individualized instruction.
The concept of innocent until proven guilty does not apply. No one can afford even an accusation. A School of Performing Arts that provides private lessons for area children put windows in all the classroom doors, instituted a parental sign-in/out procedure, and has a staff member walk in on every lesson every time. Band directors schedule lessons in busy offices or in large ensemble rooms full of distractions. College students video lessons with middle/high school students, not only for critique but also for security.
One band director told me that
…you don’t have to be guilty….an accusation can destroy a reputation and/or cost your job. And unfortunately, even after proven innocent, the doubts, questions and hesitations can continue to damage a reputation that took decades to build. Teachers have to be soooo careful.
The very nature of individualized music instruction almost mandates that student and teacher be alone in a room with a closed door. How do we take the legitimate safety concerns that student, parent, and teacher share along with the teacher’s concern for reputation (and employment) and still provide specialized, accelerated training?
SAFETY is everyone’s concern even if from different perspectives. Be aware and be careful.
TEACHERS…
- invite parents to sit in or be nearby during lessons.
- My experience: When I teach 1-1 lessons in my home, parents can relax in my living room while I work with the student in the dining room. A 6th grader’s mother would bring a book and sit in the room.
- leave a door open or at least ensure it is unlocked and/or has a window. Enable anyone to walk in on you. That delay while you get up to open the door from the inside can cause undue suspicion or concern (and increase interruption time).
- schedule lessons when others are around. Avoid evenings or non-school days when teaching at school or make sure someone else is home if the student is coming to your home studio. Do everything reasonable to remove any question andensure both student and parent are comfortable. Keep in mind that teens are increasingly cautioned to beware of one-on-one situations with adults. Respect that.
- My experience: When a mother requested I work with her student over holiday break, I scheduled it at school along with an appointment for another teacher to drop something off to me during the lesson time. I left the band room door opened and set up the chairs in clear view from the hallway so passing janitors could see and hear.
- video or audio record the session. Make sure everyone knows. Place the camera so both teacher and student are visible, but NOT in a way that makes the student uncomfortable or could set you up for a different kind of complaint.
- My experience: When I teach lessons via Skype, I ask that the camera be pointed so that I can see either fingers, embouchure or both, so I am usually looking at a profile view of the student’s top front. When girls start adjusting their clothes, there is some discomfort. Be aware, empathetic, and be careful. Explain your reasoning — or move the camera to remove the discomfort.
- if you have a regular coaching schedule, post the schedule. If you have a website with a calendar, parents (and students) are better reminded and informed.
PARENTS…
- check references. In addition to safety, you want to make sure you’re getting a good product (teacher). If the teacher is an outsider coming to the school, the school should have conducted a background check. Ask.
- sit in or be in the area, at least periodically. Sitting in an adjacent room can provide reasonable privacy while often enabling you to hear your child play. They won’t do that for you at home, right? Bring a book.
- for virtual lessons (via Skype, for example), be in the area. You don’t have to stand over the child’s shoulder, but listen in and even walk in a couple times….say hi to the teacher.
STUDENTS…
- meet a new teacher for the first time with a parent and in public.
- go with your gut.
- if anything makes you uncomfortable, speak up or get out. Nearly 100% of the time, you are either mis-interpreting or the teacher is completely unaware and will respond and adjust. Don’t destroy an opportunity based on your misunderstanding a teacher’s oversight.
- if a parent is dropping you off, have a cell phone to call if the teacher is not there, you finish early (or going over), or you otherwise need parental pick up.
- My experience: It was during a storm and I was mid-lesson after school when the power went out. Emergency lighting came on, but not enough to continue.
- if you are going to a lesson, tell your parents (or someone) when, where and for how long.
- My experience: I’ve had an unnecessarily disgruntled parent when I scheduled some after school coaching with a student who never got around to communicating and mom didn’t know what was going on ’til the student didn’t get off the bus. My mistake was assuming the parent knew.
TRANSPARENCY helps everyone.
Sometimes there is a drop off in parental involvement and in student/parent communication during high school. Teens want more responsibility and independence and both parent and teacher should strive to help them in those areas. Assumptions often cause problems, however, and most issues I’ve ever experienced in the triangular relationship with parent and student elevate because somebody “assumed”. Several years ago, I gave each of my business office employees a personalized, engraved magnet that said, simply:
Assume Nothing!
TEACHERS…provide a list of expectations and policies.
- Payment. How much, how often and what happens when they don’t. Are materials (music) included?
- Cancellations when you cancel, when student cancels, how much notice and what if there isn’t any?
- Minimum requirements; lessons per month, practice time, materials such as tuners or metronome, a functioning instrument with adequate supplies (reeds, etc)…
- Privacy. Don’t share student/parent contact info or details about what happens during lessons. That is why they are called “private” lessons.
- Communication. Be easy to contact. Determine whether your communication is to be with the student or parent. Any written communication with the student should be copied to a parent, when possible, including texts, emails or other types of media messages.
REPUTATIONS are slow to build and quick to crumble.
Students and parents need to realize how important that is to the teacher, especially when their very livelihood depends on it. Younger or single teachers need to be hyper-aware, but no one is too old, fat, bald or ugly for legitimate concern and caution.
Without an element of TRUST, this simply cannot work. Hopefully, the teacher has ‘earned’ some trust from both the student and the parental. It is unfortunate that we hear via national news when trust has been abused. That is horrible. But it is also a very, VERY small percentage of people. My advice to all…. in a nutshell:
Be Aware & Take Care!
Thanks for reading.
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Never block a fire truck
I was coming down the one-way street where we live. There is parking on both sides, but that doesn’t leave much room. Years ago, when I had a conversion van, I managed to take off someone’s mirror with mine. (Yes, I dealt with it.)
On this particular trip, in addition to normal cars parked, I encountered a lawn service truck, an Amazon van, a City Truck and one collecting trash…and I barely made it through with my car. I commented in a post that a fire truck wouldn’t make it and was reminded of a couple of Dad’s firetruck stories and events, one courtesy of my sister.
What happens when you block a fire truck?
The movie, ‘Backdraft’ fascinated me. Dad was a 32-yr veteran firefighter in a full-time city department that had about ten “houses” around town. He was one of three “Chiefs”. He said “Backdraft” was pretty accurately done. I asked about the scene where there is a car parked in front of the hydrant and they break the windows and take the hose through the car. 
“We would probably just use the truck to push the car out of the way. The car would be a wreck, but don’t put your car between my truck and our getting to a fire.”
What happened when they blocked my Dad’s fire trucks?
Close to that in real life that involved Dad and his trucks happened at my high school around 1980 when my sister was a sophomore. There is a long driveway through the school and at times they would have problems with people speeding through there during school. On one particular day, someone chained shut the large ironworks gate. They weren’t supposed to do that, I’m sure, but those drivers and that long driveway could be disturbing and a safety concern.
There was a fire alarm and Dad was on duty.
When the trucks arrived at the school, they encountered the locked main gate. Guess what they did?
Dad never talked about that story, but sister tells me she remembers faculty talking about the Fire Department “busting the gates down”.
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Broken Trust and the Damage Bad Teachers Cause
By John Gardner
Another news story of a teacher caught up in a sexual situation with students. Sad and disturbing on multiple levels because at least two lives are damaged — forever changed. Students become hesitant to open up to and trust teachers. Parents become understandably hyper-sensitive and maybe over-protective.
Most teachers work so hard to build proper, trust-based relationships with students.
My intent was never to make students obey commands because I was the authority in the classroom. I wanted them to listen and want to follow my guidance because they TRUSTed that what I am saying was best for the ensemble collectively and for him/her individually. I didn’t want to be their ‘best bud’. I wanted to be a life-mentor, someone they will look back at 20 years from now with favorable memories of someone who helped them get through some of their high school hurdles.
Of course, there are several reasons for a student to hesitate to trust: 1) parents have broken trust between themselves and with their children — so the teen, wanting protection from future pain, erects a shield to keep people out, 2) friends break trust — so hurt teens conclude trust is risky and 3) teachers like the one in the news.
So who am I to expect students to trust ME? I get it. It makes me sad sometimes — when I sense that a student really needs to talk through something but is afraid to lower that shield. Or when I see one heading in a potentially negative life-impacting (but not physically dangerous) direction and regrettably conclude that, because it is none of my ‘business’, i.e. outside my teaching subject, that I need to stay in my space and not try to cross over into his/hers. I do understand.
As I started writing, I realized I’ve said variations of all this before. I used the search function on my blog, entered “trust” and found the following: …
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3 days in the U.S.S.R.
In the Fall of 1971, I received an invitation to participate in the United States Collegiate Wind Band, which would tour Europe and the USSR in the summer of 1972. Two from my school were invited. We both turned it down.
Word got to the local newspaper that I had been invited. A bank contributed half the amount and there was a drive to raise the other half. There was a picture of me in full Holmes MB uniform in the paper. Because I delivered newspapers, the headline was for a Newspaper Boy invited to travel to Europe and USSR.
It was a three-week tour. I flew out of the Cincinnati airport to New York, where I met the directors and staff. Professor Al G. Wright, Director of Bands at Purdue University, and his wife Gladys were the directors. The staff member responsible for woodwinds was Diana Hawkins, daughter of the Director of Bands at Morehead State University.
There were approximately 120 in the band, representing 26 states. Towards the beginning of the rehearsal process, we had auditions and I was appointed 1st Chair Clarinet.
Tour Stops
BRUSSELS and ANTWERP, Belgium
LONDON, England
PARIS, France
COPENHAGEN, Denmark
ZURICH and LUCERNE, Switzerland
MOSCOW, U.S.S.R.
Moscow, U.S.S.R.
1976 was in the “Detente” time between the US and USSR. We were a token of that effort.
It was a tense trip for us. Keep in mind that the Cuban missile crisis was only nine years old and the arms race was in full force (until the ’72 treaty).
We were to depart from a Swiss airport for the 4-hr flight to Moscow, arriving in the early evening. It wasn’t until we arrived at the Swiss airport that we learned the Soviets had decided we would fly in on one of their Aeroflot jets, which didn’t leave Moscow until they confirmed that we were waiting. That 4-hr wait plus the 4-hr flight ensured our arrival in the middle of the night, when no one would see us. Not an accident, I’m sure.
We did not pull up to the large, impressive airport terminal, stopping instead a fair distance from it. Our welcome included two busses, which pulled up alongside the planes, and two armed guards (rifles) standing at attention at the doors. We were instructed to deplane and get on the busses. “Your luggage will be taken to the hotel for you.” Not only did that prevent our entrance into the airport terminal for baggage claim, but it also gave them a few hours with our luggage.
The bus ride to the city was annoying and uncomfortable. Each time the manual transmission bus would get up to speed, the driver would shut off the engine and we would coast…. then as the speed decreased to a near stop, he would pop the clutch for a jerky engine restart and then repeat the cycle.
We were greeted warmly at the hotel and treated to some amazing food as they prepared us for our “orientation”, which also delayed our hotel check-in. Unlike our other stops, when we normally had at least half a day to ourselves and to explore the city we were visiting, the Soviet guides said we could not leave the hotel. The reason, “The Soviet people do not speak English and if you get lost, they won’t be able to help you get back.”
When we finally got our luggage, organized neatly and alphabetically for us, we discovered they had removed all the souvenir luggage stickers from the previously visited countries. There was no way to replace all that, and there was little doubt our luggage had been searched.
In most of the countries, we would get a “continental” breakfast (a roll and drink), were on our own for lunch, and then would get a good evening meal. In Moscow, we were fed multiple-course meals three times daily with some lasting two hours, leaving less time for sight-seeing. I tasted caviar for the first time there.
We never traveled by foot. As we bus toured the city, we kept seeing weird vending machines. Customers would take the community glass and put it over a nozzle for rinsing. Then they would dispense what looked like beer, stand there to drink it, then set the glass down for the next person standing in line. When we asked our guide we were told that “those are soft drink machines”. We concluded the machines were dispensing beer.
They took us to Moscow University, a huge, modern campus, and told us that college is free in the U.S.S.R.
We went to the pre-revolution section of “Old Moscow” to view poorly maintained buildings. “This is what Russia was like before the revolution“.
At a huge cathedral we heard, “Unlike what you hear in your country, there are 55 operating churches in Moscow“.
As we toured, we were constantly instructed when we could and could not take pictures.
Lenin’s Tomb was impressive and unique. The line to get in was very long. A married couple, still in wedding garb, was escorted to the front of the line. What an honor. Inside the tomb was extremely cold, dimly lit, and had a soldier every few feet. No talking. No cameras. And the main attraction……the actual body in a glass casket.
We were in Red Square, a huge area somewhat like a brick version of the National Mall in Washington DC, when we saw someone fleeing a group of soldiers. The soldiers released a dog. We’ve all seen videos of well-trained police dogs taking down and “holding” a criminal. Nope. Not this dog. We were too scared to take a picture. I did get one of some soldiers who were unhappy to have a picture taken by a teenager with a US Flag patch on his touristy shirt.
This was a music tour and we gave concerts before huge crowds everywhere we went. There was one town in Switzerland where they built us a stage in the town square and literally shut the town down so everyone could come. People wanted to hear us, meet us, talk to us, touch us, get autographs and pictures…. we were treated like famous guests everywhere, except in Moscow.
The Moscow concert was in an old building with a stage so small part of the ensemble had to set up on the floor and a pathetic audience of about 50. The explanation: “Everyone in Moscow has a job and you are giving a concert on a workday.”
Even the departure was eventful. In every country, we would exchange currency and try to end up with souvenirs. Our guides emphatically told us it was illegal to “smuggle” Soviet currency out of the country. I put a Ruble inside a chewing gum wrapper inside a reed box inside my clarinet case. Things got interesting as we were in the lobby of the airport preparing to board our Aeroflot plane when a group of people arrived and started physically searching us. I heard coins hitting the floor. That process took an uncomfortably long time…..enough that the plane was late for departure.
They wouldn’t allow us to leave until our director signed a document that we were late arriving.
Switzerland: Zurich and Lucerne
We spent nearly an entire week in Switzerland, a beautiful country with mountainous views. And the town of Lucerne went all out for us, building a stage in the town square and basically shutting down so everyone could come to the concert. They were friendly and appreciative. I bought my mother a small swiss cuckoo clock.
Paris, France
Paris was one of our final stops and I was running out of money. Our concert jackets were pretty fancy and we would be approached by “artists” who would draw or cut a caricature and then try to sell it to us. They expected us to purchase and I recall one angry artist pointing to my jacket when I tried to explain I didn’t have the money for his art.
London, England
I enjoyed the history a lot. I’ve always loved British pomp and pageantry.
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Loud music in church
This is one of my favorite pieces I’ve heard at Duke Chapel, played as a postlude as and after the auditorium has emptied at the end of a service.
Click on a pic to enlarge
Organ Symphony No. 5 in F Minor, Op. 42 No. 1: V. Toccata
Best if you listen with your volume turned up. There is a section in the middle that gets so soft you can barely hear it, and then it comes roaring back again. There is a several second reverb after the release of the last chord. Enjoy.
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PSA Check your canes
A few days ago, my ‘stand-up’ cane fell over. I didn’t think much about it. But then I looked closer. Talk about a fall risk. I have replaced it….and know, now, that I need to check more frequently than 2 yrs.
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My tribute to Richard Trueblood
Richard Trueblood grew up in Salem and taught Art and Theater at Salem High School. When I got the job at Eastern High School in 1976, in asking around for recommendations for a Color Guard instructor, someone gave me his name. It may have even been the outgoing director, Phil McGlothlin. I contacted Richard and we hit it off right away. I gave him a completely free hand at Eastern.
During our time at Eastern, he was single. After we left, there was a director change at Salem and he and Bonnie Harmon made a great pair.
They married in 2021. Well into retirement, he ran for and was elected to the Salem School Board. And in 2021, the Salem School Board (he was a member) decided to name the high school’s Performing Arts Center after him.
At Eastern, our guard grew to 18 flags and 6 rifles and received several guard trophies. He went with us to Camp Crescendo every year. I credit Richard, his artistic creativity, and his encouraging friendship with a major part of the success I enjoyed with Eastern’s Marching Band.
Richard Trueblood left this world on April 8, 2022.
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I almost quit. My time being the New Guy
It is Sunday 1 of a pastorless Sunday at my church. The prior Sunday was the last one for a pastor and his wife who moved back to their home state of Alabama to minister in a larger church. In the meantime, my church will use deacons and others to fill the pulpit.
Following is a near transcription of the first six-minute introduction. In the process of asking, “What will it be like for the new guy?”, I share my experience being the new guy in my first teaching experience.
It’s June, 1976, and I’m the new band director standing in front of my high school band for the first time getting ready for the big annual 4th of July parade in the thriving metropolis of Pekin, Indiana. Population 1000.
It didn’t take long after I got there for me to discover that I was going to have a major problem. I took the band outside and began to line them up.
“I want the trumpets on the front row, shoulder to shoulder.”
A hand goes up.
“Mr. Gardner, Mr. [Name] always lined the trumpets up 4 steps behind the percussion.”
And so it went, section by section as I was placing them, with each one telling me what I was doing the same as or different from the guy who was there before.
Later in the summer, we go to band camp where we learn our marching band show and I hear,
“This is not the way we did it last year. This isn’t the way we’ve done this before. This is too different.”
We go on our first band trip and I hear from the parents,
“Last year, they were allowed to get out of their uniforms after their performance and you’re going to make them sit there, in uniform, and watch their competition?”
From my principal on my first teacher evaluation,
“The former guy had a tighter grip on discipline than you have.”
At the State competition, which was our next to last contest I heard this;
“Last year we got 7th in the state and this year we only got 8th. And last year we won 1st Place at a contest and this year the best we’ve done, so far, is 2nd.”
I was about ready to quit because it just never stopped. Over and over again I kept hearing about last year and last year’s guy and the way they had done it before…until we went to the last contest.
That first year, somehow we managed to squeak by and we got a 1st Place trophy. But it was not until that trophy that the attitude there began to change….to,
“Maybe, just maybe, you know a little bit about what you’re doing.”
I’m going to tell you something statistical, to make a point.
Joan and I were at that school, well, I was there four years, she was there three.
Our fourth year there, we had nearly 25% of the student body in the music program. That would be like a 500 member band at [Local School].
And that last year we won 27 First Place trophies [and caption awards].
But I was almost a total failure there because nobody would give me a chance. All I could do was be compared to what was there before.
And so, this morning when I ask the question, “What’s it going to be like for the new guy?”, I’m speaking to you as someone who has been the new guy.
Here we are on Sunday 1 of a pastorless condition.
Hopefully, it won’t be this way for too long, but the shortest time it can possibly be will be about a month to a month and a half – if we vote on “the new guy” next week.
It will be a difficult time for us. We feel a sense of personal loss. We became attached to [outgoing pastor and wife]. They became our friends…and they’re gone…and we’ll miss ‘em, and that hurts some.
Some people might feel a little bit of anger. “How could they possibly desert us?”
What will it be like with the new guy? Will he yell and scream from the pulpit? Will he talk football like Bro [name] did?
It will be a revealing time and we will find out who comes to this church because of the fellowship, who comes to this church for worship, and who comes to this church for the pastor.
What will it be like for the new guy? What kind of church will he find when he gets here?
….
I’m here this morning to take a look at two places in Scripture where there was a New Testament Church that lost a leader…..
As we consider these two churches through the writings of the Apostle Paul, who in both cases, was the leader who left, I want to ask you to consider some things……
[short list]
….and which one is closer to the way we are here at Huntington Baptist?
If you read this post and would like to hear their entire 20-minute sermon, it is a private video available upon request.
Also, I will be adding this story to the EHS setion of my “Stories Through My Ages” book.
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Meeting the Sheriff in the School Office
I was arriving for an after-school meeting in a rural elementary school. Buses were pulling in and I decided to wait 5 minutes in my car for the bell. After the bussed pulled away I entered and went to the office. As soon as I introduced myself I could tell something was wrong. The principal was standing behind the secretary with a troubled look. Just then I heard the sound of leather that you only hear if you are really close to a police officer wanting to quietly get your attention. The principal informed the sheriff I am ok.
Recognizing MY surprise, he explained that.
“When we see an out-of-county car sitting in our parking lot at dismissal time, we call the sheriff.”
Made sense.
Added this to both my “Stories Through My Ages” and “Selling In The Schoolhouse” books.
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