Selling in the Schoolhouse

The only time I was ever asked for a kickback

I was working for the national fundraising company and in my first few years as a full-time product fundraiser. I spent most of my time calling on larger groups such as total elementary and middle schools, bands, choirs, leagues.

It was a time when you could still walk into an elementary school, go to the office and ask the secretary if you can see the principal — and have at least some chance that you might. No security cameras, buzzing in, showing id and such. 

It was almost always okay to leave product samples. I would often leave something in the office for the secretary because everyone knows secretaries know everything about what is going on and have the power to get you (or prevent you from) the decision-makers. When I had chocolates available, those were especially appreciated. Principals and group decision-makers would usually accept chocolate samples. 

Other gifts were sometimes problematic. There was a choir director I had worked with for several years. At the time, I was working with a prize vendor who offered novelty phones (land-line, of course). I especially liked the coke phone as a student/seller prize. But I wanted to give this director a piano phone and he wouldn’t accept it — until he was in his last year ready to retire. It wasn’t a matter of “buying” his business (the phone cost @$20) but of genuinely showing appreciation to a long-loyal customer. 

Samples and small gifts were one thing. This story is about something else. I am not including the name of the town, school corporation, school, or individual. I want to emphasize that school teachers, sponsors and administrators are overwhelmingly highly-ethical people with a real desire to help students.

This visit was at a medium-sized elementary school with a principal I had yet to meet. He invited me into his office, closed the door, and sat behind his desk. He was an older guy who appeared to have put in enough time to retire. 

I was immediately shocked when he started telling me how he hated children, hated his faculty and staff….and, well, everything about his job. As a former teacher, I was simultaneously uncomfortable and angry as he continued. But then it got worse.

After what was supposed to be ice-breaking information gathering prior to giving me details to include or address in my “sales presentation”, he asked me a bizarre question that caught me totally off guard;

“If I sign up to do a fundraiser with you, what is in it for me?”

He couldn’t be asking what I thought he was, and I didn’t want to assume, so I implemented my excellent sales training by asking questions.

“You mean what is in it for your school? [Immediately continuing]….your school should earn about $xxx which will help fund some of the needs you already mentioned.”

“Well, yes…..but what about ME? This is going to be a sizable sale with a good amount of commission for you and I want to know what you would provide me in appreciation.”

At that point, I started putting my materials away, stood up, thanked him for his time, and told him I couldn’t work with him. 

As I made my way to open the office door, he mentioned something about confidentiality, and when I glanced back his facial expression was something in between anger and fear. 

I never went back. 

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My first employee quit a secure job to work straight commission

i-quitBefore I left my first sales job, I had worked five years for a national manufacturing company. The company spent a lot of time making the case that, even though ours was a “draw-against-commission” job (straight commission with a regular check, in other words), we had the security of management and big business backing us up and that life on the outside competing as a “trunk-slammer” who represented a variety of manufacturers and importers was an extremely high-risk proposition.

Bob, the manager who hired me left the company during my fourth year to go work for an importer that competed with my manufacturing company employer. A few months into his new job he called me…

John, you gotta get outta there. There are too many stupid people out here making too much money trying to do what you have already been trained to do. Make the jump, you’ll be fine.

He sent me information and I started researching the contract I was under. This process went on for several months. I started making plans and connections. Then I got another call from Bob,

John, have you left yet?

No, but I have one foot out the door.

Well, never mind. Don’t go. I’m back!

He had been hired back as upper-level management. I did resign and was one of the very few who did so to start working independently in the same business, who did NOT get challenged on the contract — and my theory as to why — is that Bob, did not want to have to answer in court that he was, in fact, the one who told me to leave and advised me to do exactly what I did. I’m glad they hired him back.

My wife and I ate beans and cornbread for a few months, but we got our business up and running and never looked back.

As I made the rounds to some of my former customers to tell them that I was still in business, but would be operating under another name, George, an Assistant Middle School Principal and Athletic Director started asking me a lot of questions and expressed an interest in coming to work for me in my new business.

But George, you have tenure, a Masters Degree and a Principal’s License. I can’t pay you anything until you sell something. Take a couple weeks to think about it.

A few weeks later I called George,

Just checking in to answer questions and see what I can do to help reduce your stress as you consider your options.

I’m not under stress anymore. I just resigned.

I know it took him a couple years to match the income he walked away from, but I underestimated the thrill of helping get an operation off the ground. George was a faithful and successful sales rep for me for twenty years until his retirement a few years ago.

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Meeting the Sheriff in the School Office

I was arriving for an after-school meeting in a rural elementary school. Buses were pulling in and I decided to wait 5 minutes in my car for the bell. After the bussed pulled away I entered and went to the office. As soon as I introduced myself I could tell something was wrong. The principal was standing behind the secretary with a troubled look. Just then I heard the sound of leather that you only hear if you are really close to a police officer wanting to quietly get your attention. The principal informed the sheriff I am ok.

Recognizing MY surprise, he explained that.

“When we see an out-of-county car sitting in our parking lot at dismissal time, we call the sheriff.”

Made sense.


Added this to both my “Stories Through My Ages” and “Selling In The Schoolhouse” books.

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